[NOVEL] I'm (Not) Allow to Love You [Four.1/2] (English ver.)

Four

벚꽃이 떨어지던 날

The day the cherry blossoms fell
그댈 처음 만났죠

I met you for the first time
낯설은 떨림과 두려운

It was a day of unfamiliar nervousness
설렘들이 뒤섞이던 날

And scary excitement
이제서야 말해요

I can only say it now
나 많이 겁이 났었죠

I was very scared
어쩌면 그때가

Because I thought
마지막이라고 생각했었기에

That it might be the last time

서툰 날 가슴에 품어주고

You allowed me into your heart when I was still clumsy
날 위해 울어준 그대 눈빛을 기억해

You cried for me, I remember how you looked at me
심장에 새길게요

I will keep it in my heart

약속해요 잊지 않겠다고

I promise you I won’t forget
날 다시 태어나게 해준 널

You, who allowed me to be born again
내 사람이란 게 자랑스러울 수 있도록

So that you can be proud of being mine
잘 할게요

I will do my best

약속해요 놓지 않겠다고

I promise you I’ll hold onto it all
내게 빛이 되어준 그대와

You, who became my light, and
봄날의 우리를 잊지 않을게요

The us from that spring day, I won’t forget
약속해요

I promise you

외로운 세상에

I will no longer
더는 혼자 두지 않을게요

Leave you alone in this lonely world
우리의 영원은

Because our forever
이제 시작일 테니까

Is starting now
몇 번의 계절이 스치고

Even if seasons pass
시간이 우릴 지나가도

And time goes by us
서로를 잊지 말기로 해요

Let’s not forget each other
I promise you baby
기억해요

I will remember

나조차도 몰랐던 나를 알아봐 줬던

You were there to recognize the person I was
그대로 인해 지금의 내가 있어

When even I didn’t know it, that’s why I am here now
별빛보다 빛날 태양에 안긴 달로

By the moon held by the sun, shining brighter than the stars
영원을 약속해요 I promise you

I promise you forever, I promise you

(WANNA ONE – I.P.U Confession Version)

The third day of sports week. Class 3B lost another competition yesterday, swimming. For the rest of the competitions, we all advanced to the semifinals. Chungdae arrived early, and when I entered the basketball court, he was already there, rubbing his left leg with medicine. I sat next to him.

“Are you feeling better or worse?” I asked worriedly, my brow furrowed.

“I feel better because Miss is here.”

“I’m serious.”

He stopped rubbing his leg and looked at me, “I’m also serious, Miss.”

“YA Chungdae!”

“I feel better, really, because you’re here.”

I laughed, unable to stand his mischief. Once again, I’d given in because of him.

"If I really win, let's go out this Saturday. I'll tell you the meeting point," he said before returning to his feet.

"Don't be overconfident. Your opponents today aren't easy. In basketball, you'll face Middle School 2A, in bowling, you'll meet Middle School 2B, for soccer, it's Middle School 3B, and for taekwondo, it's High School 2C."

"I have a good feeling today. Because the weather is so nice too. I hope the weather stays like this for Saturday."

I tilted my head upward and felt the spring breeze against my rosy cheeks. Summer would soon be here. But before that, I wanted to enjoy the rest of spring.

"Miss, just look at me."

And Chungdae joined Joonki and the others to start the basketball game. It turned out that the 2A Middle School team was no match for us at all. Their height already seemed intimidating, so our class won easily. Unfortunately, Class 2A lost the other match. Donghyun came over to complain as I arrived at the bowling alley.

“But at least I’m sure you’ll make it to the finals in bowling,” I consoled. “Your class still has you as their mainstay.”

“I hope Chungdae-hyung wins so I can face him in the finals,” Donghyun said, glancing at Chungdae.

“Even if I make it to the finals, I probably won’t be able to beat you,” Chungdae laughed.

“But how are you so good, Donghyun? The ball is heavy, isn’t it?”

"If your posture is correct, it's not difficult, Miss. Do you want to try? We still have 15 minutes before starting."

"Do you want to teach me? But I might be so stupid."

"No, you'll be okay, Miss."

I picked up the 7 kg bowling ball and, surprised by its weight, dropped it. I closed my eyes, ready to hear the loud thud of the ball hitting the floor.

"Miss, be careful!" Donghyun shouted.

I opened my eyes because I didn't hear the sound I'd anticipated. Thankfully, Donghyun caught the ball before it hit the floor. Excellent reflexes.

"Try to hold the ball like this."

Donghyun picked up the 10 kg ball and lifted it easily.

“Like this?” I asked, trying to imitate his pose.

He laughed and approached me, setting the ball down, then taking my left hand to hold it in my right, “Like this, miss.”

I felt the ball feel more steady in my hand now.

“Now look at my step and pose then throw the ball,” Donghyun requested.

Donghyun’s eyes focused on the pins in the distance, then on the ball. He stepped once, twice, three times, then bent one leg into a kneeling position as he released the ball. The ball flew fast, knocking over all the pins. When he looked serious like this, he looked incredibly handsome. I forgot what I was just observing. Well done, Baek Choeun.

“Did you see that miss? You want to try?” Donghyun asked.

His voice brought me out of my reverie. I cleared my throat and followed what I had just seen. When I released the ball, it flew to the right, missing anything.

“I look stupid.”

“No, miss, try another step.”

I tried to take another step, just as I was about to release the ball, when I felt someone grab my wrist from behind and guide it as I released the ball.

“This should work.”

I wasn’t paying attention to the ball anymore. I turned around and Donghyun’s face was very close to mine. I could see his handsome features from the side, and his warm hand was still holding my wrist. My heart was pounding like I had been running. What was happening? Had I gone crazy?

"Hello, I'm still here."

Chungdae's flat voice brought me back to my senses, and Donghyun slowly stepped back with a smile.

"Miss, that was a strike," Donghyun praised proudly.

"Oh, that must have been because you helped me," I stammered, "Ah, yes, the match is about to start. I'll watch from over there."

I walked quickly to the stands, but for some reason I could feel Chungdae's sharp gaze on my back. The match between Chungdae and the representative from Middle School 2B class was very intense. I noticed his left leg, which I was sure was still not in good shape. He had two strikes, but several times he only managed to knock down 3 or 6 pins. He looked very serious today, which made him look different. But unfortunately, despite all the support he received, he ultimately lost, losing by 13 points to his opponent. His face looked very gloomy.

"Ah, damn it..." he complained as he reached for the water bottle near me, "Miss, don't forget your promise."

"Which one?" I asked, blinking.

"That bowling wasn't part of our bet."

"Oh yeah, don't worry," I smiled reassuringly at him.

Meanwhile, Donghyun won decisively against the Middle School 2A class representative. His score was almost perfect, just one point short.

"Donghyun is truly the king," I praised, clapping along with the others. "Congratulations, Donghyun. The finals are tomorrow, right?"

"Yes, Miss, thank you," he replied, blushing slightly.

"Hey, Chungdae, wait! Let's go to school together!" I shouted at Chungdae's back, who had somehow moved away from my side.

Chungdae didn't look cheerful today, in fact, his face looked a little angry, but our soccer team advanced to the finals and will face Class 2A, Donghyun's class. Dongsun, unfortunately, lost in badminton. But that's okay, Class 3B has almost all made it to the finals, from basketball, track, soccer, and volleyball. And maybe even the finals for taekwondo, depending on whether Chungdae and Dongsun can defeat their opponents today. Eunyul unni joined me again to watch the taekwondo match.

"Chungdae looks like he wants to kill his opponent. Tell him, he's just a junior."

Unni was right. Chungdae fought tooth and nail today, and his left leg even looks fine now. What happened to him?

"Heo Chungdae advances to the final round!" the judges announced, immediately greeted by cheers from our class and Chungdae's fans.

Chungdae sat down, looking a little pale, sweat dripping down his body. I got him a drink and a towel.

"Chungdae, you did great!" I praised.

"Thank you, miss. Excuse me, but can I go home early today?"

"Is anything wrong?"

"No. I just want to rest."

"Oh, okay, get some rest. I can finish the recapitulation myself."

"Thank you. See you tomorrow."

Something felt off about Chungdae. But I hoped he was okay. And considering he'd reached the finals for basketball, soccer, and taekwondo, that meant his chances of winning the bet were even higher. What should I do? Why did I promise him? But if he did win them all, I couldn't avoid the bet, could I? I shouldn't have agreed to it in the first place.

[NOVEL] I'm (Not) Allow to Love You [Four.1/2] (Bahasa Indonesia ver.)

Four

벚꽃이 떨어지던 날

The day the cherry blossoms fell
그댈 처음 만났죠

I met you for the first time
낯설은 떨림과 두려운

It was a day of unfamiliar nervousness
설렘들이 뒤섞이던 날

And scary excitement
이제서야 말해요

I can only say it now
나 많이 겁이 났었죠

I was very scared
어쩌면 그때가

Because I thought
마지막이라고 생각했었기에

That it might be the last time

서툰 날 가슴에 품어주고

You allowed me into your heart when I was still clumsy
날 위해 울어준 그대 눈빛을 기억해

You cried for me, I remember how you looked at me
심장에 새길게요

I will keep it in my heart

약속해요 잊지 않겠다고

I promise you I won’t forget
날 다시 태어나게 해준 널

You, who allowed me to be born again
내 사람이란 게 자랑스러울 수 있도록

So that you can be proud of being mine
잘 할게요

I will do my best

약속해요 놓지 않겠다고

I promise you I’ll hold onto it all
내게 빛이 되어준 그대와

You, who became my light, and
봄날의 우리를 잊지 않을게요

The us from that spring day, I won’t forget
약속해요

I promise you

외로운 세상에

I will no longer
더는 혼자 두지 않을게요

Leave you alone in this lonely world
우리의 영원은

Because our forever
이제 시작일 테니까

Is starting now
몇 번의 계절이 스치고

Even if seasons pass
시간이 우릴 지나가도

And time goes by us
서로를 잊지 말기로 해요

Let’s not forget each other
I promise you baby
기억해요

I will remember

나조차도 몰랐던 나를 알아봐 줬던

You were there to recognize the person I was
그대로 인해 지금의 내가 있어

When even I didn’t know it, that’s why I am here now
별빛보다 빛날 태양에 안긴 달로

By the moon held by the sun, shining brighter than the stars
영원을 약속해요 I promise you

I promise you forever, I promise you

(WANNA ONE – I.P.U Confession Version)

Hari  ketiga pekan olahraga. Kelas 3B gugur di satu cabang lagi kemarin, yaitu renang. Selebihnya semuanya melaju ke babak semifinal. Chungdae datang pagi sekali dan ketika aku masuk ke lapangan basket, dia sudah ada disana, menggosok kaki kirinya dengan obat. Aku duduk di sampingnya.

“Kau merasa lebih baik atau buruk?” tanyaku khawatir dengan dahi berkerut.

“Aku merasa lebih baik karena miss disini.”

“Aku sedang serius.”

Dia berhenti menggosok kakinya dan menatapku, “I’m also serious miss.”

“Heo Chungdae!”

“I feel better, really, because you’re here.”

Aku tertawa karena tak sanggup menghadapi kejahilannya. Sekali lagi aku menyerah karena dia.

“If I really win all, let’s go out this Saturday. I’ll tell you the meeting point,” ujarnya sebelum Kembali sibuk menggosok kakinya.

“Don’t be overconfident. Your opponents today aren’t easy. In basketball you gonna meet Middle School 2A, in bowling you gonna meet Middle School 2B, for soccer is Middle School 3B and High School 2C for taekwondo.”

“I have good feeling today. Since the weather is so good too. I hope the weather will stay like this for Saturday.”

Aku mendongakkan kepalaku ke atas dan merasakan angin musim Semi menerpa pipiku yang kemerahan. Sebentar lagi musim panas. Tapi sebelum itu, aku ingin menikmati sisa musim Semi dulu.

“Miss, just look at me.”

Dan Chungdae bergabung dengan Joonki dan yang lainnya untuk memulai pertandingan basket. Ternyata tim SMP 2A sama sekali bukan lawan kami. Secara tinggi badan mereka sudah terlihat cukup terintimidasi, jadi kelas kami menang mudah. Di pertandingan yang lain sayang sekali kelas 2A kalah, Donghyun datang mengeluh ketika aku tiba di area bowling.

“Tapi setidaknya aku yakin kau akan ke final di bowling,” hiburku, “kelasmu masih punya kau sebagai andalannya.”

“Aku berharap Chungdae hyung menang supaya aku bisa melawannya di babak final,” ujar Donghyun sambil melirik Chungdae.

“Sekalipun aku ke final, aku mungkin tidak akan bisa mengalahkanmu,” tawa Chungdae.

“Tapi bagaimana sih kau bisa begitu hebat, Donghyun? Bolanya berat kan?”

“Kalau posturnya benar maka tidak sulit miss. Miss mau coba? Kita masih ada waktu 15 menit sebelum mulai.”

“Do you wanna teach me? But I might be so stupid.”

“No, you’ll be okay miss.”

Aku mengangkat bola bowling seberat 7 kg dan karena kaget akan beratnya, aku menjatuhkan bola itu. Aku memejamkan mataku, siap mendengar bunyi keras bola menghantam lantai.

“Miss, be careful!” teriak Donghyun.

Aku membuka mataku karena aku tidak mendengar suara yang sudah kuantisipasi. Syukurlah ternyata Donghyun menangkap bolanya sebelum jatuh ke lantai. Reflek yang sangat bagus.

“Try to hold the ball like this.”

Donghyun mengambil bola 10 kg dan mengangkatnya dengan mudah.

“Like this?” tanyaku sambil berusaha mengikuti posenya.

Dia tertawa dan mendekatiku, meletakkan bolanya lalu mengambil tangan kiriku untuk menahan bola di tangan kananku, “like this, miss.”

Aku merasa bola itu sudah lebih mantap di tanganku sekarang.

“Now look at my step and pose when I hit the pins,” pinta Donghyun.

Mata Donghyun tertuju ke pin di kejauhan lalu ke bolanya. Dia melangkah sekali, dua kali, tiga kali, lalu sebelah kakinya dilipat seperti berlutut saat ia melepaskan bolanya. Bola itu melaju kencang dan menjatuhkan seluruh pin yang ada. Ketika dia terlihat serius begini, dia terlihat sangat tampan. Aku lupa pada apa yang baru saja kuperhatikan tadi. Bagus sekali, Baek Choeun.

“Did you see that miss? You wanna try?” tanya Donghyun.

Suaranya membawaku tersadar dari lamunanku. Aku berdeham dan mengikuti apa yang baru kulihat tadi dan ketika aku melepas bolaku, bola itu melaju ke samping kanan, tidak mengenai apapun.

“Aku terlihat bodoh.”

“Tidak miss, coba lagi melangkah.”

Aku coba melangkah lagi hingga aku akan melepaskan bolanya, saat itu aku merasa ada yang memegangi pergelangan tanganku dari belakang dan mengarahkannya saat aku melepas bola.

“Ini seharusnya berhasil.”

Aku tak memperhatikan bolaku lagi. Aku menoleh dan wajah Donghyun sangat dekat dengan wajahku, aku bisa melihat fitur wajah tampannya dari samping, dan tangannya yang hangat masih memegangi pergelangan tanganku. Jantungku berdebar kencang seolah aku baru berlarian. Apa yang terjadi? Apa aku sudah gila?

“Halo, aku masih disini.”

Suara Chungdae yang terdengar datar membawaku tersadar dan perlahan sekali Donghyun mundur sambil tersenyum.

“Miss, yang tadi itu strike,” puji Donghyun bangga.

“Oh itu pasti karena kau membantuku,” ujarku geragapan, “ah ya pertandingan akan dimulai. Aku akan menonton dari sana.”

Aku berjalan cepat menuju tempat penonton, tapi entah mengapa aku bisa merasakan tatapan tajam Chungdae di punggungku. Pertandingan antara Chungdae melawan perwakilan dari SMP 2B berlangsung sangat ketat. Aku memperhatikan kaki kirinya yang aku yakin masih belum dalam keadaan fit. Dia membuat dua kali strike tapi beberapa kali dia hanya bisa menjatuhkan 3 atau 6 pin saja. Dia terlihat sangat serius hari ini dan membuatnya terlihat berbeda. Tapi sayang, sebanyak apapun dukungan yang diberikan untuknya, dia akhirnya harus kalah, berselisih 13 poin dengan lawannya. Wajahnya terlihat muram sekali.

“Ah, sial…” keluhnya saat mengambil botol minum di dekatku, “miss, jangan lupa pada janjimu.”

“Yang mana?” tanyaku sambil mengerjapkan mataku.

“Bahwa bowling tidak masuk dalam taruhan kita.”

“Oh ya, tenang saja,” aku tersenyum meyakinkannya.

Ssmentara itu Donghyun menang telak melawan perwakilan SMP 2A. Skornya nyaris sempurna, hanya kurang 1 poin.

“Donghyun memang rajanya,” pujiku sambil bertepuktangan dengan yang lain, “selamat Donghyun, besok final kan?”

“Ya miss, terimakasih,” balasnya sambil agak tersipu.

“Hey Chungdae tunggu! Ayo kita ke sekolah bersama!” teriakku ke punggung Chungdae, yang entah sejak kapan sudah beranjak dari sisiku.

Chungdae tidak terlihat ceria hari ini, bahkan wajahnya terlihat seperti agak marah, tapi tim sepakbola kami melaju ke babak final, dan akan melawan kelas 2A, kelasnya Donghyun. Dongsun, sayangnya, kalah di cabang bulutangkis. Tapi tak apa, kelas 3B hampir semuanya masuk final mulai dari basket, lari, sepakbola dan voli. Dan mungkin all final untuk taekwondo, tergantung apakah Chungdae dan Dongsun bisa mengalahkan lawan-lawan mereka hari ini. Eunyul eonni bergabung denganku lagi untuk menonton pertandingan taekwondo.

“Chungdae terlihat seperti ingin mengambil nyawa lawannya. Beritahu dia, lawannya itu Cuma adik kelasnya.”

Eonni benar. Hari ini Chungdae bertarung mati-matian, bahkan kaki kirinya terlihat sehat saat ini. Apa yang terjadi dengannya?

“Heo Chungdae melaju ke babak final!” putus tim juri, yang langsung disambut sorakan senang para pendukung kelas kami dan fans Chungdae.

Chungdae duduk dan terlihat agak pucat, keringat membasahi seluruh tubuhnya. Aku mengambilkan minum dan handuk untuknya.

“Chungdae, kau sangat hebat!” pujiku.

“Terima kasih miss. Maaf tapi apa aku boleh pulang duluan hari ini?”

“Apa ada yang sakit?”

“Tidak. Aku hanya ingin beristirahat.”

“Ah baiklah, beristirahatlah yang cukup. Aku bisa menyelesaikan rekapitulasinya sendiri.”

“Terima kasih. Sampai ketemu besok.”

Rasanya ada yang aneh pada Chungdae. Tapi aku berharap dia baik-baik saja. Dan memikirkan dia mencapai babak final untuk basket, sepakbola dan taekwondo, itu berarti peluang dia memenangkan taruhan semakin besar.  Apa yang harus kulakukan? Kenapa aku berjanji padanya? Tapi kalau dia memang memenangkan semuanya, aku tidak bisa menghindari taruhan itu kan? Seharusnya aku memang tidak boleh menyetujui itu dari awal.

***